In the last post, I spoke of feeling like a vessel with many cracks and of being in a cycle of initiation. Initiation is not a word we’re particularly familiar with in our times. But it’s a good word to know as one moves through life. It’s particularly helpful at those times of great change and discomfort. To recognize these as times of transformation and an initiation into something new in one’s life can really take the sting and angst out of the process. To be in initiation requires letting go so new treasures can flow into your life.
This morning I lay in bed before starting my day. Those of you who know me personally or through this blog, know that I often consider the day ahead before getting out of bed. I like slow mornings. The last few mornings I’ve really felt that enlivened sense of anticipation and energy for the new day.
My old habit would be to approach it all like a Marine. You’ve seen the commercials. “We do more by 6 AM than most people do all day.” Oohra! But today this little voice whispered, “You still need to rest.”
Rest? When was the last time I truly rested? “Exactly,” the little voice said. So I snuggled back into my comforter and decided to actively rest. I know, this sounds like a contradiction. But for many of us, it’s not. I’ve over committed and been overly responsible for the world in the last decade or so. Rest is something I need to actively practice.
I imagine walking into a sacred chamber that nobody knows about but me. It’s cozy and inviting and look, there’s a massage table just waiting for me. I glide onto it and immediately feel my body remembering what it means to rest as my muscles melt in a Pavlovian way.
Soon, I sense someone’s presence. The me on the massage table doesn’t pay any attention, but the me imagining the whole thing notices. A woman approaches me on the massage table with a paint brush in her hand. She tenderly begins to paint all my cracks with gold. The gold paint is warm and nourishing. She knows to paint me both on the outside and the inside. She patiently and lovingly tends to all my cracks. With each stroke I sink deeper into relaxation. With each sinking, the cracks grow smaller. Together, we are making me whole again.
I am reminded of Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing what’s cracked with a precious lacquer of gold. “By repairing broken ceramics it’s possible to give a new lease of life to pottery that becomes even more refined thanks to its “scars”. The art of kintsugi teaches that broken objects are not something to hide but to display with pride. (find out more)
I am now a woman in gold, learning to rest so that scars may heal and be made into marks of beauty – to create a more precious vessel. This is magic at its best!
I invite you to look at your “cracks” in a new way, perhaps as an opportunity to create yourself anew and see your sacred life as more precious because of the scars you’ve earned.