What Do You Want? 3 Ways to Listen to Your Heart

Last weekend, on three separate occasions, I was asked, “What do you want?” In each case, it was conversational, but I have this agreement about three times. When Spirit wants to get my attention, I’m offered something three times. And I acknowledge that each time the question was asked last weekend, I could feel something powerful beneath it. I couldn’t just give a flip or casual answer. I actually got tongue tied, which is unusual for me.

After the social events of the weekend and my house guests left, I asked myself, “What do you want?” In my experience there are three things one must do with a question like this.

#1 Get Quiet. Questions that have a tug and seem to twinkle with power must be considered in a place of quiet. For me, that means going to my room, going out to a quiet place on the land, or taking a long drive through a beautiful landscape. Phone is off, to-do list is put away. I ask the question and simply listen to who/what wants my attention.

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I often receive guides to help me: an eagle flying next to me on the road; a river singing me songs of healing; an ancestor or angel whispering wisdom. Whether I’m half dreaming in my room, wading in a river, or speeding along on the road, much is happening around me. Some of it speaks to my question, some doesn’t.

#2 Notice What Has a ChargeAs I consider my question, I do so with a sense of detachment. I use a soft focus and very wide periphery (wide angle vision) that allows me to sense a lot. My task is to notice what has a charge; what shines, tingles, vibrates interestingly,… It’s like when a friend gives you a choice of three movies to go see. As he list the movies, you hear each title. And if you listen closely, you can hear which one(s) he truly wants to see because he speaks those titles with a little something extra in his voice – a charge. He might say it a little softer, louder, faster,… Something about it stands out and gets your attention.

I might see dozens of birds on my journey, but only one, the eagle, seems to connect with me, as if giving me a message. Lots of scenes and stories might flit through my mind, but something about Auntie’s words on her front porch swing when I was five seem to echo in my head. Many side roads might appear on my journey, but I only take the ones that I can feel pulling at my solar plexus. Everything else on my quest may be beautiful, something to explore for another day even, but I only attend to what has a charge.

#3 Be Patient and Don’t Grasp at Answers. I’ve asked my question, gone to a quiet place and noticed what has a charge. It can be quite tempting now to try to just make a meal out of whatever I’ve gathered. But I know from experience, it is best to simply be patient and wait for the alchemy to happen. A question like this might take days, weeks, months, even years to answer. Sometimes I go for a drive and come home with an answer. More often, I receive important guidance, messages, insights and possibilities, but no real answer. These kinds of questions are not for the microwave, they’re more the crock pot kind of meal. These questions need to be carried for awhile until something settles firmly in your place of knowing.

Too often, we ask questions and only listen to our head. We ask them with the pressure of getting it right, or at least answering quickly. To take action on such answers is usually a waste of time and resources.

These questions must be taken to our hearts; that’s where the wisdom lies. The heart understands that without the pressure of performing or hurrying – a deeper, more true and significantly more satisfying answer will emerge – and it will do so in right timing.

Do I have an answer? I have the beginning of an answer. In the quiet, I noticed how many things in my life are just noise: busywork, other people’s expectations, my fears and doubts. I’ve cleared much of that away, creating space for what I want to land. A client shared that she’s tired of trying to impress and of people trying to impress her; she just wants to know who people are and what they’re doing. When she said this, I felt a cleansing wind move through and blow away all the pressure I’ve been feeling lately to create sound bites and marketing platforms. And then it happened.

I came to understand the question in a new way. I have spent over two decades asking what the world wants from me and willingly offering my gifts and talents to that need.  It worked. But it really doesn’t sustain me anymore. Now, I must ask, “What do I want?”

My answer is that when I find the answer, I will magnetize the work and people that resonate with what makes my heart happy. Yeah, that’s what I want! I can feel my heart’s truth emerging. I also feel an incredible trust growing; a trust that when I’m in deep resonance with what I want, I will be offering what the world needs from me.

 

Please – Like, share, follow, comment and forward to friends and colleagues. I’m Coleen Rhalena Renee  – a spiritual healer and teacher. I appreciate you helping me pass along these insights, teachings and thoughts to ponder.  I’m deeply grateful to all my readers and thank you for your support and for the work you do to heal the world and celebrate its beauty. 

If you need assistance in walking your path visit my website and considering working with me if what I offer resonates with you. Many blessings, ~ Coleen

How Goes Your Flow?

Life can make us feel constipated. And sometimes, things can feel like their flowing out of control. I’ve had days (particularly as I’ve gotten older) where I feel dried up – then times when suddenly it seems the dry season is over and inspiration rains upon me. This leaves me feeling juicy and sensual and vibrant.

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As a writer I experience these different flows in terms of writer’s block or, at the other end of the spectrum, as if I am moving in an endless dance with my muse. And it’s not just about the way I feel. Sometimes the muse refuses to dance, or the book I’m writing insists on being left alone. I’ve been through it enough times that I’ve begun to trust in the different ways of flowing.

For example, I remember when I was writing my first novel I’d look up from my computer and notice dishes piled in the sink and a room that looked like a midden heap with things piled and strewn around. I’d wonder who made this mess? Then I’d realize that I’d been writing for several days solid. It felt great! I’d scroll through my story and be amazed at how much I’d written. I’d been transported to a different realm where only the muse, the story and I were players. I must have eaten and moved about my home, but I wasn’t really aware of any of that.

In these moments, the biggest part of me wanted to get back to that place of inspired writing and keep going.  I’d push myself to get back to that place of productivity, that sweet nirvana. But like as not, the muse would refuse to show up or the story would insist on being left to simmer. After a few times of making myself write, I learned that it was a waste of time. The writing was never good and I almost always ended up deleting it entirely.

I soon discovered that the sweet nirvana was not a passing thing. I was able to find it rather consistently – even if it wasn’t always on my time table. So I stopped grabbing for it. When I did find it and then came back to the “real” world, I’d eat, shower, nap and then clean the house. It felt pretty good to clear away the debris of my writing stint and to move my body. I began to treasure the relief of letting go of the muse and the story; the next dance would come soon enough and I’d move again to the rhythm of the work.

Lately, I’ve been challenged in my everyday life around flow. My body insisted that I slow down and listen more closely to it. In fact, I couldn’t really settle into anything. I felt discontent in my work, my social life and my spirituality. Nothing seemed to fit anymore. I’d feel inspiration around a new idea and the next day, it would slip away.  I couldn’t follow through with any of the ideas that seemed brilliant just a few hours ago.

Oh, I fought it! I made myself create classes or write essays that never got any traction. Instead of making me feel better, I felt not only discontent, but also felt like a failure. None of the seeds I planted sprouted. Quite honestly, I wondered if I’d just lost it. “It” being my creativity and inspiration.

Somewhere in December, I gave up. I ran out of oomph. I slept, I rested, I hid in my room. I watched TV. Then I got bored.

I have little tolerance for boredom. The world is a marvelous, mysterious, magical place; there’s no excuse for being bored. On the rare occasions in my my life when I’ve gotten to boredom, I quickly went deep so I could really listen to what was going on and/or I changed my environment.

It was time to listen in a new way. What did I hear? You need rest, lots of it; surrender to it. It’s time to change both your inner landscape and your outer landscape. Listen to your body, it will lead the way.

I kept listening. I stopped pressuring myself to be productive. I stopped blaming/shaming myself for this spot I was in. I watched for what was showing up, but I no longer grabbed at things as if they were a life line. I swayed with what showed up to see how it felt and if it’s call would last. If I could move in tune with it for a while, I’d jump in. I felt rather like a young girl playing jump rope in the school yard. If I tensed up and put pressure on myself, I almost always tripped up as I stepped into the swinging rope. If I gave myself a moment to get in tune with the rhythm of the rope’s swing, I’d move into it with grace and could jump for a long time without getting tangled up.

Now here I am in late March, looking back at the last six months or so and seeing it with new eyes. So much change within and around me was happening. At the time, I saw myself as dried up with an inability to start anew. Now, I see that I was flooded with possibility; so much potential was flowing that I couldn’t get any traction. I was a flood plain inundated with new needs and new ways. Instead of waiting for the waters to recede, I kept trying to plant seeds and getting frustrated that nothing took root.

The waters did recede. I’m seeing the incredibly fertile and fecund ground now being revealed. I could plant lots of seeds that would take root and flourish. I could feed millions.

Yet, what truly calls me is the river bed. I find that I have become the water rather than the farmer wanting to plant seeds. What calls me is somewhere down stream. I feel a delicious bubbling anticipation as I find the channel that will take me there.

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Photo by Waqas Akhtar on Unsplash

I treasure the time I spent slowly flowing over the flood plain; I moved through a lot of things and left a lot behind. In listening deeply, I heard the song of the river and am now able to jump into it’s deeper channel and dance my way around the river’s bend to …

I know I’m not the only one who has been challenged to flow differently in my life. I welcome your comments, your stories and any questions. How is your landscape changing?

Blessings to you and whatever you follow or plant.  ~ Coleen

Coleen Rhalena Renee is a storyteller, way shower and gifted spiritual healer. She helpstalking to the elements clients find their true heart story and teaches them to live well within it. Tap into your dreams and make them realities.

Find out more about Coleen’s work.  Ask for a free 15 minute consult.

 

When Spider Woman Comes

One of my favorite aspects of the work I do involves listening deeply to what’s on the web, or in the field. Here is where I catch the stories we need for our lives. I’ve been taught new technologies, new ways of carrying our stories, and even ancient ways of knowing that have incredible relevance for us today.

In August, Spider Woman came calling. During the week of that major eclipse Spider Woman kept showing up. I even got a spider bite. So I journeyed to her and sat near her web as she taught me several powerful lessons.

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One of those lessons was that our webs do grow stale. They get tattered and torn. When this happens, a new web awaits us. All we need to do is jump our current web and trust. She said this last part with a glint of humor in her eyes, knowing that the trusting is the most challenging part. Yet as she continued weaving her teaching, I began to feel into the joy of jumping and the comfort of landing on a new web – one that supports and nourishes my life.

In February, I’ll be speaking at the Women of Wisdom Conference in Seattle about my journey with Spider Woman and her teachings. How do we

WOW Conference 2018
Feminine Spirit Rising; It’s Time! 26th Annual Women of Wisdom Conference February 17 & 18, 2018

create new webs? How do we jump? How do we weave the stages of our life?

This conference is in its 26th year and I’ve been blessed to attend many many years and to speak and/or perform a handful of times. It’s always been for me a powerful connection with women and spirit.

This year the WOW organization has jumped the web and are offering a new community gathering format. I’m terribly excited about the possibilities this new format will allow in terms of deep connections with other women.  You can find out more and register here.

When teachings come to me in an intense way, I’ve come to recognize that they are not only for me, but immediately relevant for the collective. I feel like this year might be a year of jumping webs.

Blessings, Coleen

 

Can Circlework Change Us? The World?

Several posts ago I mentioned that I feel like I was born for this time – the year of the “unstoppable emergence of the deep feminine”. I’ve spent years delving into ancient goddess stories and indigenous traditions, which are often modeled on feminine principles. I’ve worked with the Women of Wisdom organization since 2000. I contributed to two anthologies for women. But my favorite work with the feminine is circlework.

My first experience with circlework was in a workshop with Jalaja Bonheim, PhD. Whathands a beautiful experience! Holding sacred space, opening our hearts, listening to each other’s hearts, witnessing story, poetry, music, art. In such a short time, we became a community. This 2-day workshop was so phenomenal and even after 2 long days, we resisted leaving each other. We went to a cafe to continue being with each other and made dates with each other for the future.

Circlework taps into our inner knowing of how to step into deep connection. It revives ancient memories of heart centered problem solving and true sharing of resources. Circlework is more relevant today than it has been for centuries. We need this ancient feminine way of knowing -of working together -to heal our lives and our world. It is a practice of love.

 “Circlework is the Practice of Love. Today, that is the only power that can help us heal our planet. When I lead a circle my intention is to create a field of love where people feel safe enough to share not only the light emotions, but the dark and difficult ones and know they will be received and heard with compassion.”   ~ Jalaja Bonheim, PhD

A couple years back I was invited to join a circle that met over the phone. I was hesitant because it seemed to me that we needed to be able to look into each other’s eyes in order to do circlework. I was pleasantly surprised. It’s not the same. Yet, there’s something about listening to each other’s hearts while sitting comfortably in our own homes. It was quite phenomenal actually to train ourselves to such deep listening. I believe this happened because we couldn’t see or touch each other. Instead, we touched each other’s hearts. For some, it was easier to open up with the illusion of anonymity – to speak our truth in the comfort of our own space. We also had the benefit of being in circle with women from across the nation.

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This is my time to powerfully do my work. And so, I’m offering an experience of circlework and an invitation to discover the deep feminine that lies within – “A Call to Circle”. You can find the details on my website and check out current happenings. Don’t wait though, there is a limit to the number of participants.

You can email me if you want more information or have questions. Head shot (2)Coleen@coleenrenee.com.

Blessings, Coleen